A Gut Feeling

Your gut is (usually) always right. It knows when you’re hungry, what you are craving, and pain when you have overdone it at the gym. I think what your gut literally does, and what we use it describe in metaphors, are the same. It knows hunger, craving, and pain, but much more than in just the literal sense. It knows these things metaphorically, too.

Lately, I have been hungry for more of… something. Perhaps something sweet, or spicy, or salty. I am hungry for more, but until today, could not define the craving. When I tried to ignore the craving and when I knew I was pushing myself too hard in the wrong way, I felt pain in my gut. I was falling off the path. So tonight, I ironed out some details. I prodded my gut, inviting it to speak, to share what it was so desperately trying to communicate.

Life throws a lot of curve balls all the time. Today, one came at me, but this time it came with an answer formulated into words on behalf of my confused gut. I didn’t ignore the hunger; instead, I let it rumble and speak. I let it flow and find what it was craving. I stopped forcing myself to do something that was only causing me more pain and stress. I chose and planned a new path, and my gut has never felt happier nor calm.

My gut feeling is a good feeling about where I am going.

-Marta

A Year From Now

Lately, I have become more conscious that I question everything way, way, wayyyy, too much. A lot of my choices concern my future a year from now, what with going into senior year and all. Without much time to dial back the heavy thoughts enough to think straight, it has all accumulated.

That is, until I read the writing on the wall.

I mean this literally, of course. I was at the gym, about to leave, when I noticed the thought of the day they had put up was this:

Will this matter a year from now?

More often than not, the answer to this question is no. Sometimes, it really doesn’t matter if you take a creative writing elective instead of a business class. Sometimes, planning a trip doesn’t mean it has to be relevant to your career later on. Sometimes, you can actually say ‘fuck it’, and you know what? Life goes on just fine.

Learning to inhale and exhale more,

Marta

Thoughts from Mechanicsville

10:21pm

1.

There are some things that you know but don’t really think about until a moment occurs. This moment happened to me today.

While eating dinner tonight, all of us indulged in a very intense discussion about race and racism. It was interesting to listen to what everyone had to say and realize what an awesome group of people I get to share this experience with. Things came up and stuff was said that I otherwise would not know about them. 

The two days that I’ve spent working on the habitat house and with this group of people have been fantastic. I cannot imagine spending my spring break in any other way! 

2. 

CHOICES. My dear friends, you HAVE to realise that you ALWAYS have a choice. Even if you situation is a dead end, you absolutely have a choice to get yourself out of there. The only time in our lives when you don’t have a choice is when you are born and the day you die. 

Please remember that you always make a choice. No matter what. It’s important that you realise that and honor what you choose. If you don’t like the place you’re in, get out. ITS THAT EASY. I’m so sick of people assuming that they can’t get out of situations or over-complicating things that do not need to be stretched.

Keep it simple, dude! 

Love and light,

Miti

#Overexcitement #Overwhelming

The last few weeks have been a little… hectic. Now I know why my parents say that the young life is a roller coaster ride, and it feels way crazier when you’re young because every drop and turn is a new experience. This is both gross and beautiful. Life has so many experiences to offer, but can make the worst day of your life become the best day of your life, and vice versa. It happens all the damn time.

Good vibes this week:

I now have a writer’s bio on a website, which is super exciting. I’m not gonna share quite yet, but once I feel like I can unleash that work to the world, I’ll be sure to do so.

I got to spend an amazing weekend with my friend who visited me all the way from her home in LA. We had a super chill night, followed by one crazy awesome night at a trippy wedding reception.

I finally replaced my phone (only con: good-bye tax return).

Bad vibes this week:

After a wonderful weekend, I ended up in the middle of a not so great situation that I had no part in, but still had to be the one held responsible. #BeingAGrownup.

Not going to the gym (this must be the cause of all bad vibes ever)

Learning that making friends in college is way harder than I thought.

So, basically, right now is as good a time as ever to shed some old skin and grow something new. It feels like I keep getting pushed back down a well; there are so many things I am obligated to do, but I don’t have enough time. Solution? Cut. It. Out. If it is not serving me academically or personally or financially, STOP IT, GOSH DARN IT. Focus on the good vibes, because those are generally a damn good guide for what works and what does not. I need to shift my mentality, too. It has become too cocky and too negative, and these things hold me back from a sense of personal contentment.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Let go of the past, and keep your eyes on the brightening future.

-Marta

The Suite Life

Judging by the title of this post, my puntastic little sister appears to have rubbed off on me. I ain’t complaining though; punnery is a fine skill indeed.

Today was a big day for Miti and I–she is flying across the globe to her fabulous new college, and I spent the day moving into my new suite. After a nice, long shower, some shopping, and surfing YouTube, I am finally winding down for the day. There is practically no one on campus, and it’s kind of nice. I like the peace, and I haven’t listened to a single song while here.

It’s the silence before the storm.

I’m nervous to be an RA, a resident assistant. I commuted to school my first year, and I have to learn all the living-on-campus lingo. I live in a hall full of upper-classmen. I often do not blend into the New England culture.

But, I suppose my differences in knowledge and culture make me better suited to the role. I have held many student leader roles in the past. This is the same thing, with a bit more of a challenge. And people are so awesome, and try to be friendly for the most part.

I guess I just have a ton of extra energy and not enough space to put it. I need to throw myself into this new venture, absorb everything I can in the training coming up, and enjoy the ride. I can only do my best, and continue to make my best even better.

-Marta

Uncomfortable

I’ve spent so much of my time worrying about the process, outcome and what others think that I don’t think I have ever been really honest with myself.  The other day I travelled by the local trains here in Mumbai. They’re basically the city’s lifeline. I used to ride them 2 years ago for daily commute and I hated it. But there was this part of me that was always so proud of doing so. It was like, “wow Miti you’re so cool that you’re riding the local train. Even though there are other means to get you to where you want to go.” I would always boast about how awesome the train rides were. But in reality they were stuffy, cramped and sweaty.          These are pictures of relatively empty trains. Anyway, in all this while I’ve realized that putting myself in uncomfortable situations physically (waking up early, exercising) is not the only thing that is going to help me. I need to be uncomfortable emotionally. To finally just admit to myself, what I think is true. It’s going to be an emotional week!  -Miti

Gimme Some Bob Marley

The last few day, I have progressively getting more sick. After a week and a half of nonstop activities, fatigue and fever and heat exhaustion are finally forcing my body to slow down. Today, I decided to rest.

The thing is, when I get sick, and it is just enough to put me out of commission, I get anxious. I start to let fear override my logic. And WebMD does not help with this process. Upon looking up my symptoms and what I have been exposed to in the last week, I found out about heat exhaustion. Which, obviously, leads to death.

Why the hell would you put that in this list?

As a part business student, I’ve learned a bit about marketing. These marketers use fear, appeal, and create incentives to buy their product or service. Even better, junk food manufacturers target children in their ads. But that isn’t my point today.

Fear. It’s powerful. It drives us to survive, make quick decisions, and motivates us toward certain actions. And that is kind of crazy. Casually throw fear into conversation, and everyone gets anxious. Or at least I become very anxious. But fear can be used to our advantage, and can be wielded at will.

I am kind of rambling at this point, but my point is this: fear doesn’t have to control you. I spent half of today freaking out about being sick, when worry and fear, in this case, were not helpful to me at all. I decided to change how I perceived my fear and worry, and used that energy to go outside and do things that would help me heal. All with a little bit of reggae (sorry non-Bob Marley lovers).

-Marta

Acceptance

I just finished Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe–a book recommended to me by Miti. It was cathartic and amazing and thoughtful. And it put into words what I believe everyone struggles with: accepting yourself.

Aristotle, who goes by Ari, has an internal battle throughout the course of the story. No spoilers, but when he finally comes to a conclusion after his struggle, life suddenly gets amazing.

We have no control over what family we are born into, what era we have been thrown into, or where we begin our journeys. It’s kind of scary. We just pop out onto Planet Earth and BAM, YOU’RE A LIVING CREATURE, CONGRATS! Freaky stuff, man. It can be hard to accept that alone.

But humans like to get complicated, which is something I enjoy exploring. Stories, particularly people stories, fascinate me. They remind me that we all struggle and face challenges. Some of my challenges have included shame for dating who I like, insecurities with my body, and just getting anxious easily (making me feel socially inadequate). I have conquered these things. Some of them more recently. And it feels amazing. I have the whole world in my hands now, and I can live unapologetically.

Acceptance is a powerful tool. It opens so many doors, and just makes life so much more worth living. Ari learned that, too. And his story put it perfectly into words: “We all fight our own private wars.” It is up to each of us to look at the battle, release our strength, and let not just the world, but ourselves, see who we really are.

#Hustle

I always called myself ambitious, a go-getter, a hustler. I would have big ideas, and I would put them into action. That is part of the basis of what makes me, me. But then, I started working with a startup. Boy, do I know what hustle really means now.

Every day, from breakfast to bedtime, I am working on something: classwork, this blog, the startup, finding odd jobs. Then there is also the actual attending classes, or attending meetings, or actually doing said odd jobs. I have a giant list that I go through, every single day, and a new list every single night. Most think I am completely nuts; they may be right, but I love this life.

I love the hustle. I love the sense of productivity I get, accomplishing things both big and small throughout the day. It’s the best version of an adrenaline rush I’ve felt when it comes to personal or professional work. Additional perks: having a sense of purpose, meeting really cool people, and defying the status quo.

I’ve talked about Casey Neistat before, and here is yet another piece of his work. Goes right with the message of this post:

Life Explained in 27 Seconds

So, hustle. The only time we have is now.

-Marta

Avengers, Books and Letters

So far, I have been far more productive than any of my summer vacations EVER. It’s some kinda of a miracle really, somehow after a super stressful semester I have realised the magic of sleeping on time and waking up early. Oh and it works wonders.

I saw the Avengers last night, now I am emotionally attached to all the character. While watching the movie I also thought about how the movie theatres in India mean business (with the services and quality etc) as compared to movie theatres in America that kinda just exist.

I also finished a super awesome book. I was very reluctant to start it, the name is “The secret letters of the Monk who sold his Ferrari”. The name sounds so preachy and wise but it was anything but that. Its a short book, so if you have a little time this summer and are willing to question your life choices, this is the book for you!

And since I have started the love letters org, I decided that I would start writing letters regardless of whether or not I have requests. I think that is the only way to show people that I mean serious business. And it would also help me improve my letter writing skills, so why not!?

That’s it for now, excited to start my art class tomorrow! YAY PRODUCTIVITY.

-Miti