Anxiously Waiting

I went to a yoga class recently where I learned the importance of being still amidst chaos and uncertainty. The teacher expressed this during sustained warrior poses (keep those shaking legs strong!) and balances. Just be present, be here, and be strong. Keep your mind inside your body. Feel all of the pain, fear, and anger, and let it sit. Accept it and move in.

Well, that all happened before I got my dream job.

Since being accepted into the Peace Corps, every day has felt unreal. When dreams and reality collide, I can get… wigged out. That, plus the mountain of paperwork I now find myself buried in. My saving grace is a combination of my partner, good friends, family, and journaling.

I think the worst part is the wait! I only have six months, but…. that is six whole months. It is so close, and so far away. There is so much to do, but it is still to early to do any of it (plus, I still have to graduate between now and then). I have always been the type to rip off the band aid. Don’t sit in anxiety, just rip it away. That is how I got my first tattoo–I decided to get it three days before it was inked on me forever. Or when I moved away from my home the first time to live on campus–I made the move very quick and all at once.

I don’t like letting myself sit in the anxiousness. It is uncomfortable, makes my legs shake, and slowly lose grip of my resolve to just do it. Right now I am stuck in quite the warrior pose, and there is nothing I can do but be still and absorb it all. So, here I am, excited and anxiously waiting for what is to come.

Stay fearless, kind, and hopeful,

Marta

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