This week has been full of noise; I spent the weekend away with the family and a lovely Sunday with my significant other. It was a moment of silence, a break from school and work and all the crazy campus life. And then I came back… and the negative vibes began to set in, noisy and rowdy and crowding my thoughts. I tried to focus on the positive, like the wonderful weekend I had just had, or that I would see my friends at school again. But all week, I felt shafted to the side. It was a series of me attempting to do something, anything, and then having it shot down somehow.
I tried diving into school, but to no avail. I tried focusing more on writing, but it all came out like crap. It wasn’t until the middle of the week that I found a moment to get my mind right. I rolled out my yoga mat, laid out a blanket, and sat down with my eyes closed. I finally found a moment, five minutes of my day to clear out the noise, both in my head and out. It was a moment of acceptance for everything around me, and a reminder that I am the only person who can change my perspective, and that I really can only control what I do at the end of each day.
I think that being a resident assistant has helped; just now, I finished seven hours of active duty. It is 2AM, and I get to roll out of bed in six hours for an awesome conference. This job is challenging in more ways than one, but it has taught me many things, including patience and focus when its chaos all around me. This is so important in our lives, no matter what it is we do. If everything is falling apart, or moving too fast, or all up in your face, you have to be able to take a step back mentally and find patience and focus. Worry and anger will not help you, not ever. They are barriers to solutions.
With patience, and a tired good night.